Spanish

Okay, lunch time post based on an issue we had at work today:
I learned today, that my Spanish is not very good. In high school and college I could carry on a decent conversation in Spanish. Okay I wasn't fluent, and probably sounded like a Spanish 3rd grader, but I could communicate.
We had a driver come in today who spoke no English. I tried to speak to him, but never learned words like 'dock', or 'crane', or 'broker' (Thanks a lot 4 years of Spanish in high school, and 2 years in college). Instead I learned words like pony, and rainbow. No wonder our kids our messed up (including me). We have a forklift that we are returning to the leasing company. The driver showed up with a flatbed with no room on the back end of the truck. At work we don't have the ability to lift a 10,000 lb. truck onto a flatbed. Apparently the driver did not understand my Espanglish hardly at all. Fortunately I was able to tell him to call his broker.
With that aside, my question I asked is "what happened". Where did my Spanish I learned go? As I pondered today, I figured out the answer. -I live in southern Ohio. Not Southern Texas or Southern California. We speak 3 languages out here: Our primary is English, our secondary is English, and our tertiary (means 3rd for our vocabulary challenged) is Hamiltonian (a mix between Redneck, Hillbilly, English and Ebonics). I haven't had to use Spanish except when I watch Dora the Explorer or Handy Manny with my 2 yr old. I no longer work in a restaurant where I have to talk to the cooks for managers, and I no longer deliver to Apartments in Springdale where nobody speaks English.
Okay, so I learned that my Spanish is good enough to ask for someone who speaks English, and that's fine with me.

Man Cards

Okay, so this one's not about me, but a friend I knew in high school. I want to start by saying that I believe in 'man rules'. Rules that all men should live by. These rules are a combination of 3 things, what men should know, what men should know how to do, and what men are able to do. Each man should have a man card, and should accrue points, much like a license and points towards it. After so many points against manhood, it is suspended or revoked, and you can no longer call yourself a man. Here's my example:
First strike: My friend was dating a younger girl that himself which in itself is no violation, but as she was 16 and he was older than her, you'd think they would both have a license. Guess again. He didn't she did. Okay so not so bad you say? Wrong! He had asked her to teach him to drive. No it wasn't some cover to earn points with the girl, but he really didn't know how to drive.
Okay, man law break. All men should know how to drive. It is born into us. And yes, you'd better know how to drive a freaking manual transmission. Second, unless it is a sneaky attempt to get the girl to feel good about 'teaching' you something, no man should ever really admit to a girl that, one, he can't drive, and two, ask her to teach him! Yeah, that's points against your man card.
Second strike: as he's learning to drive in a parking lot, he accidentally hits the gas instead of the brake and runs over the only speed bump in a parking lot bigger than a football field. And get this, it pops a tire.
Man law violation: mistaking the gas for the break under the age of 65, and hitting the only object that can do damage within 500 freaking feet. Really? You had to practice near the one object in the lot, and what made you panic? Did a suicidal squirrel run in front of you or what? I know you weren't focusing on the girl because I know she's thinking of dumping you now.
Sorry, ranting. On to Strike three:
Flat tire. Guess what? 99.9% of all cars come with a spare tire, and instructions on how to change it. They even put the instructions on the same type of paper, with the same illustrations as they do for the instructions of what to do if a plane is crashing. I.E, you should be able to change a tire on a crashing plane. No, not our guy. Our guy walks to my house to ask to use the phone to call someone to fix the tire.
Okay, I will admit, looking back I was probably kind of a douche. I answered the doorbell and his plea with "really"? and I know I did the head tilt. You know, it's the same tilt that dogs do when you call their names over and over to them. Anyway, I asked, "do you have a spare" to which the answer was, "well yeah". My reply, "why don't you just change it"? Yep wait for it, here it comes the final violation of the man card, "I don't know how". Bing Bing Bing, we have a winner, or a loser I should say. You've just lost your manhood.
Needless to say, I changed the tire to try and salvage any scraps of manhood be had left, but I don't think anyone could have saved him. Yep I realized through this that some men, don't deserve to be called men. I could probably think of some times I've put points towards my man card, and will probably post them latter, but what are some times that you've betrayed your manhood. Post as reply to this thread. I look forward to some good stories.

I Can't Dance

The moment I learned I could not dance was, well, like my dancing: akward. I was at a Christian summer camp for a week in middle school. We had a concert on the first night. Before then I had danced like a child, care free and not caring about what anyone else thought.
Now however, as the band played I suddenly became self aware that not only was I feeling akward, but I felt other people looking at me akwardly. It's one of those moments in your life where everything goes silent. Time pauses. I remember the glow of the campfire, the shadows from the colored lights hitting the crowd, and I remember thinking. This is not cool. Yep that was it. I realized that I could not dance, I was not cool dancing, and I was not going to be cool dancing.

Life's Little Let Downs

This blog was a thought to share our little let down moments. I encourage everyone to respond with any personal stories, or suggest new topics. This is not meant to be a depressing look back at our lives, but to laugh at the realizations we go through to make us who we are.

Topics will be posted daily. I encourage topic suggestions, and personal stories.